Respect

 Respect

   

       Tonight I had to explain to my daughter about respect. I respect myself. I love myself. I can't account for others actions and feelings about me. Contrary to what many may believe about me, I actually care about others outside of  myself. I do not need any religious rhetoric, group rules, to think for me or to govern my actions because I may feel that as an adult I am not able to conduct myself or think for myself. 

      Tonight; I was basically told by a sister that the care for my well being is unneeded because I take a class and learned some moves. I deserve to be left alone. A brother let me know how he felt by calling someone else that felt awkward about the conversation to look out for me instead. 

        I explained to my daughter that that is not how things are to be. No one has the right to downplay your feelings, well-being, etc because they feel superior to you in looks, beliefs and such. I teach my daughter to respect others and I do the same. You may not like my choice of clothing, but I try to always be with a smile and a manageable attitude. So yes, my feelings (damn those human things I'm suppose to hide- unless their only happy) were hurt and I did shed my tear. I am re-evaluating 'cool' because that wasn't cool.
 
     I personally struggle with this strong black woman thing because truthfully, I don't always feel like being strong. However, I don't know how to be in this human shell all of the time. No one knows how in the past I sometimes just wanted to end it all but because I am a mother, I don't. I want to see my daughter grow and I want to be the one to raise her up and teach her as is my duty. I guess if you share your unhappy feelings then you are being bitchy, whiny, miserable, playing the victim...lol...but I think its healthy to feel. Just keep it in perspective, learn and move on. 
Thats all.

the Ebb and Flow

Yes, I am back to share. It's been a couple years hiatus w/life's ebb and flow occurring and you were missed. I am back sharing a lil bit of whats been up! Ever increasing in inner strength daily is definitely the key. Learning from eye opening experiences and personal choices will also assist. I am a firm believer and knower that all is learning. Never cease discovering and uncovering the lesson that you may pass the test again once you are up for your cyclical renewal!

What does that mean; cyclical renewal? Well what I’ve found in the last 7yrs is that everything runs on cycles. There is a circle and you can work your way out of certain cycles but knowing what I know about the science of astrology especially ( an dI do not claim to know it all) the process is real no matter what. What Spirit has shown me through the yrs is that its about nature and cycles in process and progress for we should be progressing. Please remember that anything not progressing is stagnating and how long do you think a plant or tree is going to live if there is no continuum in growth of leaves, branches, fruit, etc? life is still happening. Each dimension has its own rules and we must follow them for success. In this dimension, if you are pregnant and your baby ceases to continue develop-not good news, right? If there are complications in development then the life of the child will have its own situational occurrences because of that w/in the womb. I have learned a lot dealing w/my own child and reflecting- I am definitely a reflector…how else do I come up w/this stuff???!!! Lol

Daily reflection or meditation has been my way of life since I can remember actually. No matter how changeable my beliefs have been. No matter what religion I adhered to. One thing is for certain and that is the process of not obsessing on certain reflections….Not always easy for some of us. That’s that worry mode some of us get involved in. More to come about all of that. Much love and until next time- Peace, love and light!!!

Television's Food for thought.

I've been thinking about blogging about lessons on the screen. We shall see. I like to see not only physical parallels but even the metaphysical dealings as well.

All in the way of dealing w/your inner silence speaking.

THE QUIET LIFE SPEAKING LOUD

Watching a much television and movies on the whatever time (down or up) paying attention to life does help. I'm currently taking a class in martial arts- a very real white belt (novice). What I don't always get in the technique physically, I pay attention to the inner silence nudging me. In just the basics, I see where I've been crapping in life.

        Inner Silence Speaks like so- in your quiet moments while life is still yet going on. Speaking happens while you’re reading, walking, talking, etc. As I’ve grown in life, I acknowledge- although still a full advocate- that sitting and meditating is a wonderful thing to do. I also acknowledge that meditating is not just sitting and doing nothing though. What I liked about reading Ra Un Nefer Amen’s Tree of Life Meditation (TOLM) book years ago, it really helped my overactive brain process something that’s been happening to me since I can remember this current existence. Concentration. In my concentration, I hear and as time goes by you learn to distinct the voices speaking. This is not crazy. We all have an inner voice. We sometimes just need to spend a little extra time w/it.
        Me being an only child has given me plenty of time to be alone. That didn’t stop me from being hardheaded or anything. When I was a child, I ignored the voice a lot because I didn’t know or understand exactly what was happening. I didn’t have anyone to really talk to that I could trust. It seemed as if everyone I trusted backstabbed me in some way. Even those that you are told you are to trust. As a child, I wished I really had someone to talk to and to share myself with. This was beyond what I had going on superficially, i.e. my artistic happenings. I was lonely as a child.

Now that I have my own child, I do my best to keep the lines of communication open w/in reason. I say w/in reason because I can’t share everything w/my child. But I allow my child to share her feelings w/me. It’s important to me for me to know how she feels even if she feels as if she’s going to get in trouble. In love but neutrality, I listen and counsel accordingly.

        Well, now I’m in my thirties. I sometimes feel like I’m wasting life because there has been so much that I want to do w/it and lots of those dreams seem quite deferred. This is when I have to consult inwardly. It’s amazing how the things you do in your childhood that if you pay attention- it actually becomes more of a help in your adulthood.